Tag: security and love

Covid: Give your Gifts Away

Pablo Picasso was a painter, printmaker, ceramicist and theater designer.  He is widely regarded as one of the greatest artists of the 20th century.  As I have read about him, I’ve come to see that he was as wise as he was talented.

Covid Disconnection

We are attempting to cope with the Covid pandemic in many ways. We socially distance, we try to maintain structure and routine in our daily lives and we exercise.  And, of course, we stay connected via phone, email or Zoom.  I have been struck, though, that with all this 24/7 verbiage about Covid, we are often saying very little to each other that is truly helpful.  All this “connection” doesn’t, actually, seem to lead us to feeling more connected.

The Gift of Ourselves

Let us acknowledge that we are feeling powerless, helpless, sad and angry.  When we talk about Covid we might say “this is scary.”  Understandable.  But it’s quite a different thing if we were to say “I feel scared” or to ask another, “are you scared?”  When we utter these latter words, we are opening ourselves up in a human way and expressing compassion and empathy.  “This is scary” does neither. We all crave comfort and security in these Covid-saturated times and being on the receiving end of empathic emotional intimacy and tenderness is salve for our souls.  When we show our true selves and when we ask others to do so, we are, in essence, giving away a precious gift.  The gift of ourselves.  It’s ironic that the more we give, the better we feel.  Genuine giving isn’t depleting, it is repleting.  It is exactly what we need right now.  It’s no wonder that our dedicated and giving healthcare workers are as revered as they are. 

Give your Gifts Away

Pablo Picasso’s life purpose was one rooted in generosity and decency.  He understood that no one becomes poor by giving.  Quite the opposite.  So if you wish to feel less scared, less helpless and less powerless these days, give the most precious gifts of yourself away.  If you have compassion and kindness within you, give it away.  Give it frequently, give it generously, give it freely and give it abundantly.  If you do, like Picasso, you can paint a canvas where you will make those around you feel so much better and you will feel at least as good as they do.

Obsessed with Covid-19 news

I flipped open my iPad as I awoke this morning to get the latest update on what was happening in our corona-virus world.  It’s my go-to-upon-awakening task. My pattern has become to check in on my various devices no matter where I am, no matter the time of day and see what is transpiring in our newly pandemic world.  So, no question about it, I have a psychiatric disorder: I am obsessed with Covid-19 news!.  Notwithstanding, when I hear the latest update, I feel afraid.  I’m somehow always hoping to find some relief.  We have a saying in psychiatry that doing the same thing endless times, hoping for a different outcome is the definition of insanity.  So each day I’m acting like an addict who has lost his mind.  Why am I doing something that repeatedly scares me?  Let’s think about this for a bit.

This is an image of a covid-19 virus

Obsessed to witness scary things

Why do we stop to look at things that frighten us like accidents along the highway, scary movies or lions at the zoo?  One reason, oddly, is that witnessing these particularly scary and disturbing things makes us feel more safe.  How’s that?  During our distress, we are in the safety of our non-crashed car, sitting in our comfy movie seat or standing high on the perch above the lion that lurks far below.  We can look fear in the eye knowing that we are safe and sound.  We’re in control while we are witnessing something that could easily be beyond our control.  Nonetheless, though terrified, we watch and we watch. But that’s not the real reason we are compelled to be glued to our devices. Why are we? In case you’re wondering, it’s not because we are a nation of masochists or that we enjoy ghoulish macabre things.  

What’s behind Covid-19 news obsession?

Ask yourself this:  what do you feel when you watch the news about the pandemic?  Likely, terrified that this tiny virus has had the power to upend and snuff out our lives.  Besides fear, though, what other emotions do we experience when we watch Covid-19 news?  We feel empathy for those who are ill or who have died; compassion for those afflicted, blessed for all that we have in our lives; a desire to connect with our loved ones; appreciative of living; spared and lucky. And, we know that we must live our life to it’s fullest. So what do all these feelings add up to?  It’s simple: we feel our own humanness.

Drawn to our own humanity

Though fear is in the mix, we feel comforted and nourished as we connect with our best human self, the person we want to be.  If that isn’t intoxicating, I don’t know what is.  Doing so makes us feel human in many ways.  My iPad and TV screens are mirrors and I see a kind, decent, caring, empathic, grateful, blessed reflection looking back at me.  I like the person that I see.  When I remember that all this lies just beneath my layer of fear, it’s very comforting.  When I can touch those parts of myself, I no longer feel so alone and I no longer feel so afraid.  My humanness makes me feel safe. I’m experiencing my humanness rather than my virus fearfulness. So, for Covid-19 news obsession, don’t live in your superficial scary world…live in your deep human one.

Please tell me what you think…

Covid-19 and love

Most viruses are about .0000008 inches long.  We can’t even see such a thing with most microscopes, but this little bit of matter we call Covid-19 has brought our world to a screeching halt.  It’s gone viral…that’s power.  We read the daily depressing stories of those whose bodies have been ravaged in numbers the likes of which we haven’t seen in our lifetime.

Covid-19 and love: Uncertainty and insecurity

We crave structure and security in our lives.  We may push back against these things but mostly, we like the trash to be picked up on the day it’s supposed to be hauled away, we like our house to get warm when we turn up the thermostat and we like that the veal parmigiana always comes with a side of ziti at our local Italian joint.  Covid-19 has pulled the rug out from us in all these ways, but the biggie is security.  This little virus has caused almost all aspects of our lives to become uncertain.  We’re unsure when we can return to school, when we can hug a friend, when we can go to work, when we can take our kids out to play, when we can eat out and mostly, when we can stop using hand wipes.

With all the security that has been ripped from our lives, it’s kinda remarkable that internal anarchy hasn’t overtaken our psyches.  But for the most part, it hasn’t.  Perhaps we humans are just a resilient bunch.  Likely so, but I don’t think that explains why we are navigating our way through “sheltering-in-place” as well as we are given that so much is now so uncertain.

Connections and kindness in so many powerful ways

The reason is this: we humans are going to get our security one way or another and this virus has forced us to be creative.  It’s true that we have lost seeing Uncle Danny tell bad jokes or tasting Grandma’s awful cooking. But in place of that we have reinforced and enhanced the things in our life that matter the most.  You and I connect with each other in ways that are different than in our pre-Covid-19 lives.  All of us are more concerned and more supportive.  We are more heroic and more generous.  Our lives are more kind and more decent.  We are more compassionate and more caring.  Quite simply, we express more love.  Covid-19 and Love. Because of this, ironically, we are more secure now than we have been in a very long time.  This is why we are going to be ok.

I wonder whether you have experienced more love in your life lately?